Secretbear in Real Life

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2012-01-26T16:28:00.000-08:00

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2012-01-25T20:02:00.000-08:00

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2012-01-19T00:43:00.000-08:00

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2012-01-16T21:43:00.000-08:00

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2012-01-13T22:42:00.000-08:00

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The Genetics of Mudjekeewis

2011-11-07T19:47:00.000-08:00

It was divine providence. That was how Dr. Mudjekeewis D. Santos described how he became what he is now - a full-pledged scientist in applied marine biosciences and a 2011 awardee of the Outstanding Young Scientist Award by the National Academy of Science and Technology.

As a kid, Doc Mudjie never dreamed to be a scientist. It was only in elementary and high school that he realized his inclination towards life and natural sciences. He was always chosen to represent their school in district competitions for science. “Things happened in an “experiential” way,” he said and that certain events led him to what he is now.

Even in college, his first course was in social science. But he shifted to biology after one semester. His parents wanted him to pursue medicine after that. However, he would not be a medical doctor because of financial constraints.

His first work was as a Research Assistant in UP Baguio three months after he graduated. Little did he know that this would carve his path towards being a scientist. The research project he worked on then dealt with the Balili River System of La Trinidad, Benguet. This river supplies water to every strawberry plantation in the area. They studied the water’s plankton and bacteria composition, and other present microorganisms – his first step in studying the smallest of the smallest particles.

Next, he became a research assistant at UP Diliman where they studied milkfish (bangus) unloaded by fishing vessels at Navotas port and the fish’s heavy metal contents.

At UPD, he enrolled for a masters degree in biology. His electives included molecular biology, genetics, and cell biology to name a few. He specialized in molecular biology and genetics because he strongly believed that “everything will eventually have to be explained at the molecular level”. Even processes, the life sciences such as ecology will have to be explained by molecules, he said.

Divine intervention intervened again. Doc Mudjie had classmates who were employees of the Bureau of Fisheries and Aquatic Resources (BFAR), and they encouraged him to apply at BFAR. His first consideration was if there was a laboratory in BFAR so that he could continue his work in genetics. Coincidentally, the work available then was at the National Fisheries Research and Development Institute (NFRDI) under his current boss. His boss then had obtained a grant for equipping a tuna genetics laboratory. He also applied because his future boss was young and supportive, the office atmosphere was accommodating and fun, and the position was permanent.

While working at NFRDI, Doc Mudjie had the opportunity to go to the University of California in San Diego (UCSD). At UCSD, he worked on extracting DNA from very old bones of whales from the Philippines. The information generated from this project is now being used in management and conservation of whales.

He also had the opportunity to finish his masters and PhD degrees in genetics at the Tokyo University of Marine Science and Technology, Japan.

In Japan, one of his works was on fish immunology. He developed a protocol to produce polyclonal antibodies (antibodies obtained from different B cells) using recombinant IGM (immunoglobulins M), which is also an antibody produced by the B cell. These polyclonal antibodies attach to the IGM that will enable the tracking of blood formation or the tracking of cells in the blood of fishes. This is used in diagnostics, so basically, these polyclonal antibodies are used to track down sick cells in fishes.

Another work was the cloning of genes involved in immunity in fishes. The cloned gene proteins were injected to fishes to test if their resistance, particularly to disease, would increase. The study was successful and findings are now making impact to the fisheries sector, particularly in disease monitoring, surveillance, control, and in production. The technology, however, still has to be commercialized, he said.

He also worked on shrimps – on the detection of white spot syndrome virus (WSSV) in farmed Pacific white shrimp genes and in the analyses of shrimp immune responses at the genetic level. Moreover, he helped identify parasites in fishes using morphological and molecular markers. He did various works on fish diseases, immunology, and immunogenetics.

When he returned to the Philippines, Doc Mudjie applied what he learned abroad to the needs of the country’s fisheries industry. His current works include shrimp biotechnology in which he and his team search for resistance-associated gene markers in shrimp (what he calls astig shrimp), and shrimps found with these markers will be used for production and grow-out. Another one of his projects is the use of genetic fingerprinting for the profiling of endangered species so that they can better monitor and conserve these. He is also doing population studies and genetic structures of small pelagic fishes in Sulu Celebes Sea for resource management. He spearheads in mapping the taxonomy of Ludong (indigenous fish in Region 2) using genetics for resource management purposes. He is also working on fish DNA barcoding and fish DNA library for management and conservation. He also leads the genetic studies on sardines and identification of genetic markers in tuna for resource management and conservation.

For Doc Mudjie, biotechnology can definitely help in food security, particularly in the aquaculture sector. According to him, time will come when culture areas could no longer be expanded, and these areas can only be maximized by producing better, bigger, high-growth and disease-resistant strains of fishes using biotechnology. In fisheries management, detection of environmental factors associated with genetics can be used to target specific areas for protection, conservation, and management towards sustainability, he said.

Doc Mudjie’s love for genetics goes beyond his work. He has internalized it so much that he copes with studies, work, and family (he is married with two kids) like a cell. He has learned to “compartmentalize” spaces for study, for work, and for family. But for Doc Mudjie, family comes first, and thus, occupies a much larger compartment in his life.

His greatest achievement is his kids, he says – as these are the very living expression of his genes. The geneticist in him just simply loves his offsprings.

Anna Merlinna T. Fontanilla, MS DEVCOM

University of the Philippines in Los Banos, Laguna

September 2011

If you can't stand me, then you're not in my level. i won't go down for you.

Educate, Participate, Segregate!

2011-10-30T04:37:00.000-07:00

Popularization article for the thesis:

An Analysis of the Communication Process in the Context of Participatory Framework for the Solid Waste Management Program of Los Baños, Laguna

PRINCESS M. OMAÑA-LUBAG, University of the Philippines in Los Baños, Laguna. 2005.

By: ANNA MERLINNA T. FONTANILLA

Educate, Participate, Segregate!

The townspeople of Los Baños, Laguna are highly knowledgeable about Solid Waste Management but many are still not practicing it.

This was the major finding of Princess M. Omaña-Lubag in her graduate thesis entitled “An Analysis of the Communication Process in the Context of Participatory Framework for the Solid Waste Management Program of Los Baños, Laguna, Philippines” conducted in 2005.

In the study, Ms. Omaña-Lubag wanted to examine the communication process among its stakeholders in the implementation of the Solid Waste Management Program (SWMP) and see if this affects their participation to the program. She particularly looked at the level of the stakeholder’s awareness and knowledge about the program, the level of their shared understanding about the program, their sense of ownership of the program, and their level of involvement in resolution of issues in SWMP. These factors determined the type or level of participation that the stakeholders gave to the program.

The SWMP was the top agenda of former Los Baños Mayor Caesar P. Perez (who is now the Vice-Governor of Laguna) when he took office in 2001. It was implemented in accordance with Republic Act 9003 or The Ecological Solid Waste Management Act of the Philippines. During those times, Los Baños was faced with garbage problems particularly the dumpsite in the foot of Mt. Makiling. Under Mayor Perez’s administration, the Ecological Solid Waste Processing Center was built from converting the dumpsite into a science and eco-park facility that recycles garbage into different products.

During the conduct of the study, implementation of the program was done in coordination with the Los Baños Science Community Foundation, Inc. (LBSCFI) with government institutions situated in Los Baños as members such as UPLB, PCMARD, IRRI, DOST 4A, the LGU itself and many others. The stakeholders of SWMP included in the study were 21 implementers, 21 business establishments including Jollibee Foods Inc., 17 schools, and 304 households which were all selected by random sampling. All households belonged to five sampled barangays where each barangay was “adopted” by a member-agency.

The study showed that all the stakeholders were aware of the garbage problem in the town and they were aware of the IEC campaign for SWMP. They also know a lot about SWMP – its objectives, who were the stakeholders, what are the important concepts such as what are biodegradables and non-biodegradables, what were the strategies in waste management and the laws, ordinances and penalties governing the program. Although they were not aware of RA 9003, they were highly aware of the Anti-Littering Ordinance in the town and the schedules of garbage collection. The stakeholders also had a high sense of ownership for the program which means they understand it was for their own benefit. They expressed willingness to attend IEC activities such as seminars, trainings, meetings, workshops because of their understanding that the program will be helpful for them.

Oddly enough, schools and business establishments had a low shared understanding of matters about SWMP. Many did not know the objectives of nor who were the agencies responsible for the program. On the other hand, households and implementers had a high shared understanding about the program. Finally, households had the lowest participation followed by business establishments in resolving conflicts and issues regarding the program. Naturally, it was the implementers, the LGU and LBSCFI who had the highest participation in resolving conflicts and issues. The pertinent issue back then was the dumpsite at the foot of Mt. Makiling.

However, actual participation to SWMP was low particularly of households. There were four types of participation showed by the stakeholders in the study according to the author – passive participation, participation by consultation, functional participation and self-mobilization. Passive participation was the lowest type where stakeholders were only informed of the events about SWMP – what is going to happen or what has happened. Participation by consultation was the next level with stakeholders being consulted and heard by the implementers. Functional participation was the next with stakeholders physically participating to by attending seminars and training and other activities such as launching programs, motorcades, and such. The highest level of participation was self-mobilization where stakeholders initiate themselves the advocacy for the program and mobilizes people for the cause.

Households showed the lowest participation in all types. There were not many households who were aware of what was going on or what has happened during the implementation of the program. Even the business establishments were not very much aware of the activities. Only the schools and the implementers knew a lot about it. Households also had the lowest participation by consultation because majority were not able to attend meetings, forums and public hearings which were the forms of consultations. Business establishments and schools had low participation by consultation, too and only half of the implementers were consulted before activities were implemented. The same can be said with functional participation. Only the implementers had significant participation in trainings, seminars, motorcades, launching programs and other activities of the program.

For the highest type of participation, the implementers naturally showed the highest self-mobilization followed by schools which conducted school activities and programs to advocate the messages of SWMP. Self-mobilization also meant that stakeholders followed the strategies in solid waste management – segregation, recycling, reusing and vermicomposting. Business sectors and households participated in terms of these strategies also not majority of them participated. Still, households made considerable advocacies by spreading SWM practices to their neighbours and acquaintances.

According to the study, one major observation was that people were already aware of SWMP but many are still lazy to segregate and still dump their garbage in improper places such as rivers and lake. Also, even if there are people segregating their wastes, the method of garbage collection defeats the purpose of segregation. Garbage were still dumped altogether. Absence of trash cans in public places and in many households was also noted. One strategy, vermicomposting was particularly not followed except in one barangay which was made as the pilot area for testing the technology.

Based on the findings, “the program had already achieved its objectives of promoting awareness and knowledge among the people in Los Baños”. It was especially noted that leaflets and the public address system of the LGU were effective tools in disseminating SWMP information. What are needed are IEC strategies that would bring about behavioural change so that people will initiate themselves the proper management of their garbage.

If you can't stand me, then you're not in my level. i won't go down for you.

Fish Conservation Week in the Philippines

2011-10-25T16:54:00.000-07:00

BFAR 4A discovers artistic kids from squatters

Led by the enthusiastic Regional Director Esmeralda Paz D. Manalang of BFAR 4A, the agency formally started its Fish Conservation Week celebration on October 18, 2011 within the office’s grounds at NIA compound, EDSA, Diliman, Quezon City. The BFAR national celebration started on October 17 at the Central Office headed by Director Asis G. Perez.

A mass was held in the morning led by the charming Father Allan Samonte and attended by employees from the regional and field offices. It was followed by a fish processing and cooking demonstration with Postharvest Focal Person Celsa Baillo-Maquiling together with her women organizations. The women showed how to make surimi and cooking the surimi into fish kikiam and nuggets. They also showed how to make seaweed atchara or pickled seaweeds.

A feeding program was also held where more than 500 children from Barangay Pinyahan, Quezon City (just opposite the office) were given porridge (lugaw) with one boiled egg and a piece of chicken. Games were also conducted in the afternoon for the participating children.

Search for best FishCon drawing

The day was highlighted by an on-the-spot drawing contest participated by grades five and six students mostly from the squatters’ area of Brgy. Pinyahan. Ten grade five students and 10 grade six students joined the contests accompanied by their guardians and Brgy. Pinyahan councilors who cheered and gave their support to the children. The students were given two hours to draw on a ¼ illustration board using oil pastels their interpretation of this year’s Fish Con theme “Karagatan pagyamanin, isda paramihin, buong mundo pasiglahin”.

The students were asked to give a short explanation about their drawing. Most of the students’ “draw and tell” focused on the importance of fish to the whole world and the need to protect the fishery resources. Many of them understood that if the ocean and seas are destroyed, there will be no more fish for people to eat. Some of the students even specifically mentioned that dynamites should not be used in fishing, right size of nets should be used, and that garbage should not be dumped in the sea. A few also said that taking care of the resources should be done together “hand in hand” by the people starting from the family.

It was worth mentioning that many in the audience consisting of BFAR 4A employees and visitors were amazed by the artistic talents of the children especially of the winners. One even said that anyone who will look at the painting might not guess that children made the drawing. Another commented that what the children drew, particularly the first placers were not literal representations but abstract representations already of their ideas just like what professional artists do. Even the way they hold the oil pastels showed that they are already real artists according to that audience.

Christian Luke B. Alarcon from the grade five level won first prize while Jimboy U. Balasa in the grade six level.

RD Manalang explained to the students why Fish Conservation Week is being celebrated and why kids are involved in activities such as the drawing contest. She emphasized that it is important to learn about fishery resources because it is a major source of food and it should be protected. She mentioned that dynamite fishing and other illegal fishing activities are harmful to fish habitats particularly the coral reefs and sea grass beds. She thought of conducting a drawing contest to see the length of understanding of elementary students about fish and fishery resources and to teach them why fish should be conserved. Seeing the status of the fishery industry through the eyes of children is also a way of enlightenment for adults.

All of the participants were given consolation prizes of P200.00 and gift packs with school supplies, towel and candies.

Other activities to be conducted by the agency during the Fish Con Week are mangrove reforestation, coastal clean-up, tilapia fingerling dispersal, fishing gear distribution, awarding of fish processing utensils, and seaweed seedling dispersal.

If you can't stand me, then you're not in my level. i won't go down for you.

Hinugot sa Langit (1985)

2011-09-11T19:00:00.000-07:00

Cast: Maricel Soriano as Carmen; Charito Solis as Auntie Juling; Amy Austria as Estella; Al Tantay as Jerry; Rowell Santiago as Bobby; Dante Rivero; Susan Africa

Director: Ishmael Bernal

Written by: Amado Lacuesta

Distributed by: Regal Films

Summary

Carmen is a young, single woman working in a financial agency and has a responsible but domineering boyfriend, Bobby. She got pregnant not by Bobby but by her married lover, Jerry. She wants Jerry to take responsibility because she said it would be unfair for Bobby if she lets him marry her and take her baby as his own (although she did not tell Bobby about it until later in the movie when Bobby was sharing his plans on their family land in Davao).

Carmen’s friend Stella is a liberated young woman, outwardly happy, wild and chases the man she loves. She encourages Carmen to have an abortion and takes her to a doctor who is expert on it. Jerry also wants her to abort the baby because he does not want to divorce his wife and he only wanted no-strings-attached relationships.

Auntie Juling is Carmen’s aunt who is overly religious and encourages Carmen to keep the baby because abortion is a mortal sin against God. Despite being religious, Auntie Juling is not very compassionate with the poor illegal tenants in her land and even snobs one of them, a man with a family, when he tried to get help from her for his sick child. Later in the movie, Carmen learns that Auntie Juling was a former abortionist, and an expert in the field according to relative Dante Rivero, but quitted the job because of an incident involving her sister and father. Her father was a good doctor and was against abortion. Her sister got pregnant and forced Juling to abort the baby. After the abortion and despite warnings of Juling not to go out and just rest, her sister went out with friends and bled to death. Her father learned of it and did not speak with Juling until he died. Juling stopped being a doctor and turned to religion.

During the course of the movie, Carmen encountered a lot of things that led her to aborting the baby. She got laid off from her work because of economic crisis. She saw a physically deformed child outside church. The sick child of the man asking for help from Auntie Juling died and during the wake, the mother was continuously wailing “why are we poor”. This led the man to kill Auntie Juling during a prayer meeting after Carmen’s abortion. Carmen’s bestfriend Stella went on a car rampage and ended in the hospital when the man she was chasing finally got tired of her and told her to leave him alone.

In the end, after the abortion, Carmen left Auntie Juling’s house and she and Stella started a new life and live together in a house.

Carmen’s Struggle: To Have or Not to Have Abortion

Lens: Cognitive Dissonance Theory (Leon Festinger)

Carmen believes that abortion is a sin and that a baby is a helpless child inside the womb and thus, should be taken care of by the mother. On the other side, Carmen is also a practical woman who knows that it is hard to live in the current economic situation. With this personal set of beliefs, she still however, engaged in an illicit love affair with Jerry and let herself get pregnant knowing that there is only a slim chance of him taking responsibility for it. These personal set of beliefs, perception, knowledge, attitude and behavior (i.e. cognitive elements) of Carmen clashed with each other resulting to her cognitive dissonance.

There are two overriding premises that govern dissonance theory according to Littlejohn. First is that dissonance produces tension or stress that creates pressure to change and the second which follows naturally from the first is that when dissonance is present, the individual will not only attempt to reduce it but will also avoid situations in which additional dissonance might be produced (Littlejohn, 2008). Being a practical woman, Carmen thinks that abortion is one option to solve her situation. But as a Catholic, she is against abortion, thus, her dissonance. Further, to have it will be the greatest decision she will ever make in her life so she was experiencing a great deal of dissonance and this stresses and tensions her making her pressured to do something about it or change something to relieve or reduce it.

In Em Griffins website, the first hypothesis of the theory states that selective exposure prevents dissonance (A First Look at Communication Theory, Em Griffin, www.afirstlook.com, 2010). Carmen, in order to convince herself that abortion is a safe option, she went with Stella to the abortionist which the latter referred to her and tried to convinced herself of the information from the doctor such as, that the doctor is an expert and have been doing abortion for a long time, the baby is not yet a person but still a lump of blood, the procedure is safe and effective medicines will be prescribed to her that will prevent her from bleeding, and she will still get pregnant in the future. This way she tried to make abortion as an attractive alternative to her situation. I also think that the presence of Stella is a factor that strengthens Carmen’s will in deciding to go with the abortion. Because Stella is a liberated, strong-willed woman and because she is Carmen’s friend, Carmen gets comfort from her. Carmen also sees Stella as a valid and trustworthy source of information and enforces the doctor’s trustworthiness. Stella provides the “warm personal relationships are the best environment for considering discrepant views” (ibid.).

Carmen also chose to avoid situations that will remind her that abortion is wrong, thus, she avoided joining her Auntie Juling during prayer meetings and even tried not to listen with Auntie Juling’s prayers at night. Carmen viewed religious sermons and preaching as threats to what she was planning to do. As Em Griffin cited Dieter Frey in his website, this selective exposure exists only when information is known to be a threat. Another scene when this selective exposure to elements that will likely increase her dissonance was also shown, was when she went to the wake of the child of the man who asked for Auntie Juling’s help. The pathetic situation of the bereaved family – a shabby place for the wake, the simple coffin which according to the man was bought from the money contributed by his co-workers and the constant wailing of the wife about their poor situation in life – was a convincing factor for Carmen that life is indeed hard and that having a child out of wedlock will not be a very good decision.

Hypothesis number 2 states that “post decision dissonance creates a need for reassurance” (ibid.). Carmen got to a point that she said “she can’t take it anymore”. Although the abortion alternative is getting more attractive, added with the image of the physically deformed child outside the church scaring her because she does not want a child like it, the battle within herself (i.e. dissonance) is still getting intense because she knows that the longer she delays the abortion, the higher the chance she won’t be able to do it once the baby “already becomes a person”. She has to decide quickly to reassure herself that after she gets the abortion, she will not be considered as a murderer. I also think that the death of her Auntie Juling relieved her of the thought that her aunt will be forever blaming her and accusing of her murder.

Hypothesis 3 says that “minimal justification for action induces a shift in attitude” (ibid.). Because abortion is a major issue during those days and it goes against many beliefs especially religious beliefs, Carmen experienced and did a lot of cognitive work to change her attitude regarding abortion. •

If you can't stand me, then you're not in my level. i won't go down for you.

Ded na si Lolo (2009)

2011-09-11T18:49:00.000-07:00

Cast: Gina Alajar, Elizabeth Oropesa, Manilyn Reynes, Dick Israel, Perla Bautista, BJ Forbes, Roderick Paulate

Director/Screenwriter: Soxy Topacio

Distributed by: APT Entertainment

Summary

BJ Forbes plays Bobet whose Lolo Juanito just died. The story is told in his point of view and how the death of his Lolo will be an educational experience for him, on Filipino culture and tradition.

The movie features the Filipino tradition of a wake or burol and how Filipinos deal with death of a loved one. Several burol superstitions were mentioned in the movie like placing a rosary in the hand of the dead and cutting it to prevent so no death will soon follow, placing money in the hand of the dead throughout the burol and keeping the money to serve as lucky charm, wearing red in a burol is a no-no because it scares the ghost of the dead, putting red blankets over children while sleeping so they won’t be haunted by the ghost of the dead, cleaning the house is prohibited too while there is a burol, and tears should not fall down on the glass window in the coffin.

The also centers on the dysfunctional family of Lolo Juanito. Lolo Juanito’s children are played by Dick Israel as Isidro, the oldest who has kept a secret from his siblings which was he knew they were only the second family of Lolo Juanito; Elizabeth Oropesa as Dolores, the richest but considered by her siblings has the worst attitude and who holds a grudge on her father because he was always absent during her birthday; Gina Alajar as Mameng, the most loved daughter (according to Dolores) who, together with her own family, lives in her father’s house (and the reason why Dolores also holds a grudge against her); Manilyn Reynes as Charing, the mother of Bobet, the neutral party and the source of many superstitions; and Roderick Paulate as Junee, the gay son and the most modern among them and equally dramatic. All of them are “palengkera/o”, loudmouthed individuals reflected from their jobs – Isidoro is a meat vendor, Dolores is a fruit vendor, Mameng is viand vendor, Charing is a vegetable vendor, and Junee “sells” happiness as a female impersonator (Ded na si Lolo Graded A by CEB, Monica Palad, www.pep.ph, 2009). They share the same trait of being an “eksenadora/o” or loves being the center of attention because all of them fainted (real and fake) during the burol. Even their stepsister, who is the first daughter of Lolo Isidoro, fainted (which made the sisters conclude that she is really their blood). In one scene, Junee told Bobet to prepare lots of cottons and ammonia because it will be a fight who will be the best actress during the burial.

The movie also depicts how Filipinos view death as a way of resolving things within the family. Lolo Juanito’s death became a way for his children to path up their differences. To quote, “a family that mourns together, truly stays together” (Ded na si Lolo movie Review, Manny the movie guy, youtube.com).

Bobet’s Personal Experience of the Wake Phenomenon

Lens: Hermeneutic Phenomenology (Heidegger and Gadamer)

Bobet is the central character who interpreted the burol event in their family through experiencing it firsthand. Correlating with Heidegger’s claim, the reality of the event was not known by Bobet through careful analysis or reduction but by natural experience which was created by the use of language. His interaction with his family, his aunts and uncle provided Bobet a way to understand and give meaning to his grandfather’s death and ultimately, to the Filipino burol tradition.

Through language, Bobet learned of the superstitions about burol. Most of these beliefs were shared by her mother Charing, and some from his aunts and uncle – obviously, the oldies. But the main thing he learned was that, eventhough his grandfather is dead, he knows that he is happy somewhere probably in heaven because all of his children have settled their differences. The Filipino culture mentioned above that things within the family are resolved during a loved one’s death.

But Bobet did not learn all of this without any previous experiences. In one scene, he put a pink chick on top of the glass window of the coffin saying that it was his gift to his Lolo. His cousin instantly reacted and asked why and Bobet said he saw in the television that people put chicks in the coffin of their dead loved one. His cousin corrected and said chicks are only placed in the coffin if the dead was killed or murdered. What Bobet saw from the TV was his previous experience about deaths and wakes and he understood the event better because of what his cousin has said. This is an example of what Littlejohn said that our understanding and observation are never objectively pure because they are colored by our experiences which we cannot be separated from.

Also, this theory says that the past operates on us now in the present and affects our conceptions of what is yet to come and at the same time, our present notions of reality affect how we view the past (Littlejohn, 2008). In understanding an event, history cannot be neglected. This is not probably widely reflected on Bobet’s since it was his first experience of a burol but this is clearly reflected on his aunts and uncles who have experienced many wakes in their lives. Their belief in the superstitions (and non-belief by Junee) came from events in the past when these superstitions were passed down to them by their parents, grandparents, ancestors, and other old people in their neighborhood. These superstitions, even if they have forgotten the meanings of some, affect how they behave during a wake because they anticipate some consequences if those are not followed. Further, they pass on these superstitions to their children which they will or not follow in the future but either way, will affect how they will behave in wakes.

In relation to what has been mentioned above, that Bobet’s aunts and uncles have forgotten the meanings of some of the superstitions but still they believe on it, this, according to the theory, is because our way of seeing things in the present time creates a temporal distance from an object of the past, such that the artifacts have both strangeness and familiarity (Littlejohn, 2008). The artifact is the superstition with the forgotten meaning because the present time is making the people think in a modern way (strangeness). Still, the superstition is passed down by ancestors and has been part of their lives especially during wakes so the aunts and uncle still believe on it (familiarity).

As a whole, Bobet learns that in a traditional wake, the elders follow many superstitions to prevent any bad luck that might fall to the bereaved family. This is the enduring meaning of the one part of the wake tradition which is the superstition. Bobet understands the event by experiencing the result of the dialogue between his own present-day meanings (his own current experiences) and those embedded in the language of the event (the experiences of the elders). This is through the use of language which might not be given focus in the film but is clearly shown thru the communication between Bobet and the elders. And by the use of language, Bobet learns of things not just how the way they are, but these are added other meanings because of the richness of language. In a scene between Junee and Bobet as described above, Bobet was told to prepare lots of cottons and ammonia because it will be a fight for the best actress award during the burial. Not only did Bobet learned that the burial is the climax of it all, but he also learned other things such as, ammonia awakens a person who fainted, the bereaved family tends to show all their emotions in one final blow and it tends to be overly dramatic, and his aunts and uncles are very expressive individuals who show their emotions without inhibitions.•

If you can't stand me, then you're not in my level. i won't go down for you.

Research Station to develop technology on ayungin and biya culture

2011-09-08T20:28:00.000-07:00

UPLB, College, Laguna – The UPLB Limnological Research Station in Los Baños has started developing a technology for the grow-out culture of ayungin or the silver perch and biya or goby. The project was presented during the SyenSaya Exhibit on July 28-30, 2011 at the Baker Hall, UPLB, College, Laguna.

Ayungin, Leiopotherapon plumbeus and biya, Glossogobius giuris are both endemic species found in Laguna de Bay whose populations are continually decreasing. They are both food fishes which fishermen depends on for food and livelihood along with other fishes present in the lake. The research station has already succeeded in breeding the two species in concrete tanks by using hormones that induce spawning or reproduction. They were also successful in rearing the larvae of the fishes which also proves that their grow-out culture is possible.

The project is still on the experimental stage where the performance of the fishes in concrete tanks under different stocking densities (number of fishes per unit area), water management, and different feeding schedules are observed. As part of the project, the station is also developing a technology on live-feed culture which is the production of natural foods of ayungin and biya found in their natural environment.

JUAN ROMEO NEREUS OLAIVAR ACOSTA aka “NERIC ACOSTA”

2011-09-08T20:23:00.002-07:00

I do not consider former Representative Neric Acosta as a popular politician because I do not often see him in the news (or maybe I just don’t watch news that often). But I do not think that it’s a bad thing since it might mean that he is not concerned of publicity to become a successful politician. However, there is probably a downside to this because many people are not aware of his environmental advocacies and efforts especially people in the environmental sectors.

Looking at Acosta’s political profile at http://nericacosta2010.com and at Wikipedia, I think he is an admirable politician, academician, and political scientist especially when it comes to his environmental advocacies. According to the websites, he is a principal author of many environmental laws such as RA 8749 or the Clean Air Act, RA 8978 for the establishment of Mt. Kitanglad as a protected area, RA 9275 or the Clean Water Act, RA 9072 for the management and protection of cave resources, RA 9147 for the conservation and protection of wildlife resources, RA 9168 for the protection of new plant varieties, and as one of the major authors of RA 9003 or the Ecological Solid Waste Act. Another amazing fact is that the Clean Air Act has received many awards especially in 2002 when it was awarded the Oscar Escobar Environmental Award and the Citizens’ Movement against Pollution Award. The Clean Air Act also serves as a model for environmental legislations in Asia.

Acosta clearly understands the importance of our environmental resources not only because he authored these laws but also because he knows that to better conserve and protect the environment, there is a need to increase government support for science and technology and research and development. The importance of S&T and R&D to environment has long been established but the Philippine government still allot a meagre percentage of the country’s annual GDP to S&T. If more politicians would push for the same thing as Acosta does, scientists would be more encouraged and inspired to do their work within the country instead of letting their selves get pirated by other countries who welcome them with both arms wide open.

Before Acosta’s term ended in the 13^th Congress, he left a few house bills on environment which are still currently pending, including HB 982 – an act creating the national environmental management authority; HB 983 – an act providing for the sustainable management of forest resources; HB 984 – an act establishing the coastal environment program; and HB 986 – an act regulating the practice of environmental planning, amending for the purpose, PD 1308 titled “law regulating the environmental planning profession in the Philippines”. I’m not sure who will continue to pursue the legislation of these house bills but I’m sure Acosta would certainly continue to support environmental efforts by the government as long as they are based on facts and scientific data.

On his own, his efforts on environmental preservation and sustainability are commendable and admirable. His articles in The Manila Times.net reflect his concern for the environment, sustainable use of resources as well as his support on S&T. In his article titled Food and Fish, he said and I quote “There is more than a lesson or two for all of us in this frightening fishkill. We are told by the vagaries of nature and the idiosyncrasies of human nature that to survive and flourish as human beings on a fragile planet, we have to be attuned to the rhythms of delicate ecosystems and to be fiercely protective of the sources of life itself— land, air and water”. Clearly, this is a call for everyone by Acosta to stop abusing our resources and start using it in a sustainable way; that we, man should adjust to the “rhythms of delicate ecosystems” so that we and the next generations will survive in this world.

Acosta seems also active in Facebook in order to promote his advocacies and I could see that he’s got some followers that really supports and encourages him. The use of this social network is another proof that Acosta believes in the power of S&T to affect people and thus, should be harnessed and supported appropriately for the development of the society. He’s trying to reach to all kinds of people probably mostly to the young ones to be active in supporting the environment and S&T. However, I think he still lacks the charisma to attract youngsters based on his 11,818 only people who likes his page.

Acosta also continues to be part of many different environmental movements such as the Boards of the Earth Council of the Philippines, the Population, Health and the Environment (PATH) Foundation, Partnership for clean Air, Philippines, and as the founding director of E-LEAD (Center for Ecological Governance, Leadership and Development). According to Wikipedia, he recently served as Lead Convenor of The Philippine Climate Change Imperative that aims to engage the private sector in drawing up a proposal addressing the issues of climate change.

Because of his efforts in environment conservation and resource sustainability, Acosta is being eyed to be the next Secretary of the Department of Environment and Natural Resources (DENR). It seems however, that some group of people are trying to stop this from happening when a public appeal was printed in a newspaper saying that Acosta does not deserve the position because of criminal charges filed against him in the Ombudsman. In Solita Collas-Monsod aka “Mareng Winnie’s” commentary article in Inquirer.net, she condemned those people who did not provided any name in the newspaper and said that they just didn’t want Acosta in the position because “he is anything but corrupt”. Mareng Winnie clearly has faith over Acosta’s integrity because of her defenses particularly on the P10.5 million amount of money from his pork barrel which he allegedly used to finance their family-owned NGO serving only as a conduit so the money ends up in the family. Mareng Winnie proceeded that the NGO have been successfully in operation for 20 years and have helped 7,000 and more beneficiaries. I personally believe that Mareng Winnie is a credible source so that goes saying that I believe in the credibility of Acosta. If Acosta is ever appointed as the DENR Secretary, then maybe we can expect some sound projects and activities that will promote S&T and at the same time, ensure the conservation and sustainability of the environment.

Aquaculture Training Held for Sariaya Fisherfolk

2011-09-08T20:15:00.000-07:00

Members of the Bigling Fisherfolk Association of Barangays Bignay 2 and Kiling, Sariaya, Quezon underwent training on aquaculture on June 21-22, 2011 at the Beachwood Resort, Bignay 2, Sariaya, Quezon. The training was titled “Training-Seminar on the Culture of High-Value Finfishes, King Crab and Giant Freshwater Prawn for the Implementation of the Community-based Participatory Action Research (CPAR) Projects in Bignay 2, Sariaya, Quezon” conducted by the Regional Fisheries Research and Development Center (RFRDC) of the Bureau of Fisheries and Aquatic Resources (BFAR) for Region 4A.

Lectures on Mangrove Aquaculture or Aquasilviculture/Silvofishery and Net Cage Culture of Fish in Brackishwater and Marine Waters were discussed by Mrs. Florida Dieta, the main speaker who is the supervising aquaculturist from one of the national centers of BFAR, the National Brackishwater Aquaculture Training and Resource Center in Pagbilao, Quezon. Aquaculture experts from RFRDC also gave lectures on Pompano Culture in Cages, Culture of Red Tilapia in Fishponds, Record-Keeping and Economic Aspects of an Aquaculture Venture. On the second day of the training, a hands-on training on water sampling and stock evaluation was conducted in Nabutas River where the CPAR project is located.

The training-seminar was one of the strategies in the implementation of the CPAR Projects in Sariaya where the Bigling Fisherfolk Association was the identified beneficiary. The CPAR Projects include The Culture of High-value Finfishes in Brackishwater Ponds and Cages and The Culture of King Crab and Prawn in Brackishwater Ponds and Cages. According to RFRDC Manager Mr. Hannibal Chavez, CPAR is a program of the Bureau of Agricultural Research (BAR) aimed to modernize agriculture and fisheries and to empower the community through their participation not only in the project per se but also in the planning and decision-making aspects. It is a collaborative project which aside from BAR as the funding institution and BFAR 4A as the implementer, also includes the Office of the Congressman of 2^nd District of Quezon, Hon. Irvin M. Alcala, the Local Government of Sariaya and the Rotary Club of Lucena South as supporting agencies.

If you can't stand me, then you're not in my level. i won't go down for you.

December Affairs

2009-01-20T03:57:00.000-08:00

december 1, 2008 - Monday, went to Ate Rosel's with tabachingching. nangain ng mangga, sugo, burger, uminom ng juice, nanood ng mga drama every afternoon. ang sarap ng life!

december 2, 2008 - Tuesday, may game sila sa basketball. they lost. nyaha.. sayang ang uniform! isoli na yan! haha.. kita ko si armando. hay. nag-sleepover ako kila Lola, got ourselves warm thru GSM (galing sa magnanakaw). hehe

december 3, 2008 - Wednesday, adrenaline rush because of queen amidala! we knew we're gonna be late. and she wanted me early at the office. nagpaplano pa nga lang ako kung anong sasabihin ko if ever tumawag sya, aba'y tumawag nga! tsk. nalaman nya tuloy na nakitulog ako kila lola. ano ba sya may esp? tsk. and then later on, we watched twilight at Megamall libre ni Sir, with al, dahc and lola. and then ate lugaw sa foodcourt.

december 4, 2008 - Thursday, sleepover at Ate Kindness. Nicolas told me that Armando went home, probably to visit his kanojo. sadness. but it was a fun time at Ate Kindness with Lola, Francesco, Al, Nicolas, and Little John.

December 8, 2008 - Monday, First day of our dance practice.

December 9, 2008 - Tuesday, dance practice again. i heard armando came back from his vacation. and so? ala lang. echos. hehe...

December 10, 2008 - Wednesday, dance practice again. and then me, Lola, Nicolas and Al went to Circle around hoping to ride something but then may bayad pala ang entrance! yuti eh. as if ang ganda sa loob. eh di isnabin namin. i saw Armando earlier that day but its nothing but pleasant.

December 11, 2008 - Thursday, dance practice again. career na to! may prize eh. hehe

December 12, 2008 - Friday, konting practice. me, al and tabachingching bought tela for our costume and other paraphernalia. this is one of those days ng kaartehan. like may pawalk out out ang ate kase anjan sya. pero nag-iinarte kasi inisnab sa may bundy. che. ang arte! ^^ big C kami ni al and tabachingching.

December 13, 2008 - Saturday, dinala namin sa ospital si tabachingching. tsk. unforgettable. nainis ako kay francesco ha. infairview. me, ate rosel and tolits went to divisoria where i lost my cute pink umbrella. darn it. bought blouses and socks for our dance costumes.

December 15, 2008 - Monday, me, al and ate Funny went to Trinoma during the afternoon and bought shorts for our costume. later in the evening, went there with al and einalem to replace the latter's shorts.

December 16, 2008 - Tuesday, todo todong dance practice. woohoo!

December 17, 2008 - Wednesday, Christmas party at the office. jesebel ruined some things. eksenadora kasi and inggitera. che. but still, we won. kaso malaki pa nagastos namin sa costume kesa sa prize. haha... at wag na daw kaming sumali next year?? ok fine. arte nya. asan ang demokrasya? hindi pamandin napanood ni armando ang sayaw namin. tsk. later in the evening, went to Congo Grill with Nene Anton Bañez.

December 18, 2008 - Thursday, Kubo with Ate Sexy, Ate Blooming, Francesco, Nicolas and Armando. Al, Tabachingching and Ate Rosel came later. may picture kami! talaga yang si nicolas oo!

December 19, 2008 - Friday, well, this is not exactly my gimik but i'll put it anyway. nagPadi's and Barracks sila.

December 22, 2008 - Monday, finally, chat kami uli ni armando. wala lang. alang kwenta. with Nene Anton Bañez again at Trinoma, kasi may bumili ng polo shirt sa folded ang hung, and then at big C.

December 23, 2008 - Tuesday, one of those days again pero ang naiba, i tried to bring it all back. smiled at him but to no avail. went to SM north with tabachingching and brought memory card and mouse and then ate lunch at etcd. nadedma na naman ako ng isang intruder.

December 24, 2008 - Wednesday. went home after lunch. half day eh. sya di na pumasok.

December 25, 2008 - Thursday, Christmas. hu u? o san ka pa? ang ganda ng Christmas gift ko! T.T

December 27, 2008 - Saturday, went to Jollibee with Xyron.

December 29, 2008 - Monday. Marsyel, Ina, Sem and Merlan came, visitors from Iloilo. gala sa grove, tambay sa LB square, tambay sa rooftop kapehan, inom and sleepover kila marsyel.

December 30, 2008 - Tuesday, went home from marsyel's.

December 31, 2008 - Wednesday, unexpected visitors. Kitoy and Louie came. gala sa UPLB/grove. grocery sa Robs and Olivarez. lunch sa bahay. tambay sa total with marsyel. my first vodka cruiser. uwi sila gabi na. syempre ako din. ^^ someone greeted me kaso gumanti ako kaya di ko sya nireplyan agad. che.

THE END.

If you can't stand me, then you're not in my level. i won't go down for you.

sad and hurt II

2008-12-12T16:12:00.000-08:00

i feel so sad for you. i want to comfort you but i'd rather not. with the way things are, its difficult to show concern and affection. i want to be a friend to you but i'd rather not. its difficult not to hope for something more than friendship to happen.

and i have already given up. trying to give up. i just want to be rid of this feeling. be carefree again. because it just hurts a lot. it hurts to forget you but it hurts more to continue loving you. i just wish there's a more better way to erase you from my mind, from my heart, from my system. i don't know how will i stop thinking of you. you've been a part of my routine, from the moment i wake up until i sleep and sometimes even in my dreams. its pathetic, its unlikely of me, its overwhelming, its painful.

anyway, i hope you'll overcome the sadness you're feeling right now. i hope everything turns out right for you. if you think there's still a chance of getting her back, then take that chance. goodluck.

If you can't stand me, then you're not in my level. i won't go down for you.

Dear Diary... Busy November..

2008-11-30T00:27:00.000-08:00

Nov. 3, 2008, Monday - nilibre kami, me and Tabachingching, ni Sem sa Pizza Hut sa Trinoma. and then paantok kuno sa BT.

Nov. 5, 2008, Wednesday - Trinoma with Mai and Tabachingching. was this the time when i bought my clogs? searched for it for almost an hour? LOL afterwhich, nag*klase* kami with Nicolas, Dahc and owner ng mahiwagang room.

Nov. 6, 2008, Thursday - went to Giligan's at Trinoma with Tabachingching, Mai, Nicolas, Ate Ganda, Ate Sexy, and Ate Kindness! i learned a shocking truth, well not really shocking, pero masakit it made me cry. akalain mo un. marunong pala ako nun. LOL

Nov. 7, 2008, Friday - may pahabol pa ung nalaman ko kagabi a. sayo na yang proposal mo. kapal ng muka mo. puli to! layas!

Nov. 13, 2008, Thursday - tsk. if she wasn't there, it wouldn't have happened.

Nov. 16, 2008, Sunday - Binyag ni EEDA (na kamukang kamuka ni sophie), my newest inaanak. hapi-hapi kila pards and mars with Mai, A. Blooming, A. Sexy, A. Ganda, A. Kindness, Einalem, Ekis, Francesco and K. Chipmunk. sabi ni Lucas ang ganda ko daw. LOL ang mga bata talaga, marunong tumingin. LOL

Nov. 17, 2008, Monday - Pizza hut Bistro and watched High School Musical 3 at SM North with Lola and Mai. Treat ni Lola! yehey!

Nov. 18, 2008, Tuesday - Gateway with Tabachingching and Sem, watched The Passengers which was a movie which story develops so slow. but the ending was nice. thereafter, paantok at BT kami with Anton na nakahiga na daw and was about to sleep pero sumama pa din. hehe

Nov. 19, 2008, Wednesday - Birthday ni cutie-cute EEDA! hapi-hapi again kila Tatits with A. Ganda, A. Sexy, A. Blooming, Tita Slim, A. Rosel, Tabachingching, Mai, Nicolas, Dahc, francesco and Andeng. sinabihan ulit ako ni Lucas na maganda daw ako. LOL ang bata ayaw na kong hiwalayan! tsk. we weren't able to get the pot money kasi wala ng naka-100! sana binigay na lang samin. tsk.

Nov. 20, 2008, Thursday - BK with... nevermind. an incident that i could have avoided if only i didn't... if only that creep didn't... i was having a peaceful week... i was getting used with that creep's absence... shittemasu. bow.

Nov. 21, 2008, Friday - you're not there. i was only imagining you sitting there. and i wasn't there too. i wasn't existing. you were just imagining me walking and talking, going out of the gate with nicolas. lecheng driver ng taxi yan. tanda tanda na eh mang-iisa pa. dumbass.

Nov. 24, 2008, Monday - paid my Smart Bro Bill with Sem and Tabachingching. Finally!

Nov. 25, 2008, Tuesday - gala and ate dinner at ABS-CBN and then 'Riverbanks with capital letter C' with Lola, Mai and Tabachingching. we never knew what was coming the next day. tsk.

Nov. 26, 2008, Wednesday - kablam! boom! and we, me, Mai, Nicolas and Dahc, tasted her 'mild' wrath. T.T so Tabachingching, Mai and I went for a sleepover at Lola's at Montalban because the office felt so uninvinting. at akalain mo un, nakuha pa naming magkampai kila Lola. hehe

Nov. 27, 2008, Thursday - pakapagod sa kakagala sa Farmer's and vicinity with Mai, Lola and Tabachingching. walang seven days sa Farmer's, sa shopwise meron.

Nov. 28, 2008, Friday - went to the real Riverbanks with Tabachingching, Lola and Mai. sarap talagang kumain dun. had fun with darts, naghagis ng maraming piso, played the roulette, pakapagod kakaikot sa tiange, listened to live band and sa buangit na babaeng parang bakla pero babae daw talaga and ate goto. then sleepover at Mai's BH.

Nov. 29, 2008, Saturday - went home to Laguna with Tabachingching.

The End.

If you can't stand me, then you're not in my level. i won't go down for you.

i'm finished. i'm done.

2008-11-08T00:33:00.000-08:00

it turned out he already has a girlfriend back in the province. and the azzhole said if i would agree to be his number two, he'll court me. he likes me too anyway. what an azzhole. i would never agree to something like that. i have my pride and my ego. i want to be number one and only one. i'm a jealous type of girl and i'm not a martyr. i don't want half of his attention. i want it whole. i didn't graduate from the most prestigious university here in the country to be just the second best.

and i don't steal boyfriends. i can't live happily knowing that i am the cause of a couple's break up. i can't live happily knowing i am the cause of someone's heartache and tears. i'm human and i have a heart. and i'm a girl too. definitely i sympathize with my fellow females.

so he can just go to hell. and i'm so sorry for the girl that she has an azzhole for a boyfriend.

there are other fishes in the sea. lemme just drown in loneliness for a while. i'd get through with this in no time. i have my friends anyway. always supporting me. i just can't help to think if God is punishing me with a bad karma. i just don't know what did i do to deserve it. i just want someone to love me. a guy who would be there for me always. *sigh*

Somebody - Depeche Mode

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
Aaaahhhhh....

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it
And in a place like this
I'll get away with it
Aaaahhhhh....

If you can't stand me, then you're not in my level. i won't go down for you.

he can't make a move because we're friends! loads of BS.

2008-07-19T04:21:00.000-07:00

he spoke of crap. and it just annoyed the hell out of me. he hurt me again. another score for him. why can't he just shut up and leave me alone in peace??? crap.

it seemed he told a common friend of ours that he can't court me because we are tropa. BS. quoting marsyel, if he really likes me, he'll do anything. halleuer. it is such a pathetic reason. if he doesn't like me then he can just say so! or better yet, just shaddup. if he thinks those words can comfort me, then he's stupidly mistaken. he just hurt me again big time. he just sent a million pieces of knives straight to my heart, without pity. he is so stupid. i am so stupid.

i am so stupid for letting him hurt me like this. it seems, whatever he does, whatever he says, hurt me. just by doing nothing hurts me a lot too! i know i should move on already because it really feels hopeless! but its not that easy. everything just reminds me of him. kaya nga as much as possible i want to be occupied. go out with friends, drink and have some stupid fun. watch movies, eat out. hang out. chill out. pautwas na lang paminsan minsan until i finally get tired of the topic. until i finally get tired of him. i hope that happens soon.

If you can't stand me, then you're not in my level. i won't go down for you.

I fell too fast, i feel too much.

2008-07-12T03:15:00.000-07:00

can i just go back to the time that i don't know him? that he's not yet into my world? na wala pa sya sa buhay ko. leche.

i've been in deep shit for a few weeks now. because of that moronic insensitive guy. bakit ba ako nahihirapan sa kanya ng ganito? crap. why am i allowing myself to be affected like this? lahat na lang ng klaseng emotion nafeel ko ha. frustration, disappointment, desperation, loneliness, emptiness. putik. he doesn't have the smallest right to make feel like this. ano bang ginawa ko at mukang pinaparusahan ako ni kupido? all i wished was to have a nice boyfriend. at eto ang nakuha ko. am i such a bad person? am i that mean to others? why is the God of Love madamot to me?

i can't remember the last time i got so really jealous. and mad. utterly mad. and hurt, so much. did i deserve that? three weeks ago we were still in good terms. we were constantly chatting thru ym. one Friday, i told him he should go home early because its gonna rain. he said, he's not going home yet because gagala pa sya. i asked him where. he gave me a name of a restaurant/bar located in trinoma. i don't know if its a woman intuition or just plain jealousy or both when i asked him, may ka-eyeball ka noh? i wish i didn't ask that. because what followed was a total heartbreak. he said yes and he asked why. why? for pete's sake. i said, wala lang, pakasaya ka ha. and he insensitively said, magpapakasaya talaga ako. with matching hehehe. how insensitive can he get? i told him madapa ka sana and instantly signed off. i stormed out of the office and went straight to the service without looking back.

it seemed that when i went out of ETCD papuntang service, he was just a few feet at my back and i just noticed him when i got inside the service and i saw him sitting in the table of the guard. i didn't look at him, because it hurt too much. i felt like i was gonna crumble any minute. i couldn't look at him. and i cried when i got home. T.T darn him. andun na ko, i don't have any right to get jealous since i am not his girlfriend. but hey, all i'm asking is a little consideration for my feelings. he knows i like him. does he have to isampal sa muka ko na may katagpo syang iba? does he really enjoy hurting me? never mind yung pagiging confuse ko sa mga actions nya, his actions na pinapapaasa lang ako, making me confuse of his feelings, does he like me or not? never mind ung pagmumuka kong tanga every time i make an effort to get close to him. never mind ung possibility that people probably are talking about me already. pero please naman, wag na nyang ipakita saken that he's flirting with other girls, or tell me that he's going to meet some girl. i don't have to see that or hear about it right? i didn't ask for it. i wasn't asking for it.

and then he's going to tell me he didn't do anything to make me mad??? crap. ganun sya kainsensitive! he didn't have the slightest idea why i am mad at him. darn it. i told him if he believes that he didn't do anything then he shouldn't be bothered. and told me, ok sige fine, yan ang gusto mo ha. and we started ignoring each other every time magkasalubong kami. that wasn't what i wanted to happen. every time he ignores it sends a sharp pain into my heart just like a knife. not just one knife. tons of them. and now, wala ng space sa puso ko even for just one piece of knife. i'm smiling outside but i'm dying inside. that wasn't what i wanted. i wanted him to like me too. kahit kaunti lang.

so i gave up when i finally realized that i am not important to him. its hard to forget someone who you constantly see. its hard to forget him because i always see him, see his name, everything just reminds me of him. its a hell of a crap. i don't want to see him but i want to. its good that he's ignoring me but i want him to say hi to me, say lenlen, goodmorning like the way he used to. its making me feel sad. and empty.

however, i think i'm still not 100% on giving up. if i was 100% on it, i would have initiated the pakikipagbati and joke with him like were friends. call him augustus again, tease him again. but i know, if i do that, its like accepting the only remaining thing to happen, for us to be friends. and i still don't want us to be friends. because for me, friends are friends, they cannot be lovers. never.

and meeting other guys doesn't help. it only reminds me of him more. because i always compare those guys to him. and no one seems to surpass him. in my heart and mind. sya pa din. crap. if i could just go back in time, i wouldn't have joined the volleyball team. i probably wouldn't have liked him as much as i do now. i probably wouldn't have given him that darn spongebob towel. that towel started it all. i shouldn't have given him that. crap.

and now i'm living with songs.

If you can't stand me, then you're not in my level. i won't go down for you.

A Big Chance missed

2008-05-30T06:07:00.000-07:00

so in the end, i wasn't able to go to the volleyball game, wasn't able to play with my crush. and i heard they won. and i'm getting this thought that if i was there, would we still have won or not? its because there are times that i really think that i carry a bad luck charm. ^.^;;

anyway, if i could predict things, i could have ditched the exposure trip and went to the volleyball game no matter how far it is and no matter how impractical it is. after all, the exposure trip is not that enjoyable. i did have some good laughs because of a pitiful incident that involved one of our facilitators. but all in all, i just got a slight headache and a lot of stress. i did enjoy the fellowship night but i think i would have been more happy if i saw my crush and had some small talk with him. ~.~

and today, they had a basketball game and they won. they became the champions. originally, it was a best of three game, but since they had won the first two games, there won't be a third game. and i was hoping there'd still be one game i can watch next week! now i can't say that i wish they didn't win today because that's just so bad. but its really my heart content. ^.^;; i still want to watch him play basketball. i still haven't seen him used my spongebob hand towel.

and it really sucks because if i was there with them celebrating, now, i have the chance to possibly tell him my feelings. if not tell, then at least be with him and be happy. *sigh* no matter how i am thankful that i learned a lot from my training, i still wish i was there, having fun playing volleyball, watching basketball, watching him play, celebrating with him. *sigh* how can fate be so cruel to me? i'm not a bad person am i? T.T

If you can't stand me, then you're not in my level. i won't go down for you.

Should i stay or should i go?

2008-05-27T05:12:00.000-07:00

What is more important? a volleyball game which will be the last one for this year or an exposure trip in which you have already gone to all the places in the itinerary?

that's right. i'm torn between these stupid two things. this coming Thursday will be our last game in volleyball. its not like i'm a good player that contributes a lot. its just that i enjoy playing volleyball, i enjoy playing with my crush! hehe.. ^__^;; but Thursday is still the second to the last day of our training. we will have an exposure trip on Thursday afternoon, same time with our volleyball game, and i'm one of the members of the host team that will be in-charged of the field trip.

the thing is, i have already been in all the places in our itinerary! i feel like there'll be no sense going there. however, its kinda shameful to ignore my responsibility as a member of the host team. and its kinda impractical to go to the game venue because its almost 2 1/2 hours away from our training venue! and after the game, of course i still should go back for the last day of our training. ~.~

but i really want to play and i really really want to see him. i sooooo miss him. we haven't seen each other for four days. and i'm afraid that this is really a one-sided feelings. he's not missing me. and its making me more and more frustrated each day. i actually feel like giving up on this feelings. i was kinda adamant on getting his number no matter what it takes last Friday and Saturday. but getting this feeling that i mean nothing to him, i feel like a candle burning out so fast. after all, i'm not the kind of person who keeps on liking someone even if that person doesn't like me. i'd rather find another guy worthy of my affection. but even so, i still think about him a lot and i can't wait for the day that i'll see him again. T.T

that's why i've been cursing this training since last week. its a hassle to my happiness! i can't see him, i can't play volleyball with him, i can't watch him play basketball, i can't see him smile at me, i can't talk to him, i can't, i can't, i can't! darn it. i just wish this would be over soon.

If you can't stand me, then you're not in my level. i won't go down for you.

When you're lovesick and the only cure is him...

2008-05-23T18:06:00.000-07:00

hey you!

Please don't go the US! i'd be damned. i'm actually already feeling damned right now because i won't be able to see you for the next whole week because of some stupid training i have to attend to. your officemate said that your family is planning to go for a month vacation in the US this coming June and i just felt so sad upon learning about it. next week will be the last week of May, and June will come after that and if your family's plan pushed through, i might not see you anymore after my training. i'm already feeling depressed and frustrated. curse you.

i gave you a spongebob hand towel as a small gift because i wanted you to know that i've been observing you since the first time i saw you because i'm really interested with you. you asked me why i gave you that i said there's no reason. you asked me why spongebob i said because i saw you wearing a spongebob shirt before. see? i have been observing you. you said you really liked it but i still haven't seen you used it in one of your basketball games. that makes me depressed even more. i wish you just want to preserve it and keep it safe. but i rather see you use it with care and affection. curse you.

its been almost a month since i first saw you and met you. within two weeks my feelings escalated in a frightening degree. you seem to like me too but you aren't making any efforts to get my number. you almost asked me out once but i got preoccupied with something and you never asked me again. it puts me in the dark. it makes me depressed even more. but whenever i see you that depression instantly goes away and i become so happy again. but when i don't see you, i think of so many things, i get so insecured and depressed again. curse you.

i think of you 24/7. no, let me minus my sleep because thank God you are still not able to conquer my dreams. yet. i think of you upon waking up, i think of you when i'm eating, i think of you when i'm taking a bath, i think of you when i'm working, i think of you when i'm internet surfing, i think of you when i'm in the bathroom, i think of you when i'm with friends, i think of you when i'm watching tv/movie, i think of you when i'm practicing dancing, i think of you when i'm reading something, i think of you when i'm on a field work. i think of you everyday it sucks. i think of you everyday it makes me sick. i think of you everyday it makes me crazy. curse you.

i'm happy that after so many years, i'm able to feel something like this again. it feels refreshing. i missed feeling this way. love is a great thing. liking someone is a great thing. but i almost forgot that with love comes a lot of hassle. i want to look pretty everyday just for you. i give myself a lot of trouble in buying the nicest clothes and accessories. i go to one of our departments which is near to your office more frequently than before in a hope that i might bump into you. i hang out with my male officemates in the office entrance after work hoping that i might see you when you're about to go home. i go downstairs more often than before to "punch" our bundy cards with the hope that i might bump into you "punching" your own card. i almost forgot that love comes with a lot of hassle. and with that hassle depends my everyday simple happiness and sadness. curse you.

can i just get back to my easy loveless life? or if you have mercy, sympathy, love, can you make it easier for me and tell me that you like me too?

-lovesick

If you can't stand me, then you're not in my level. i won't go down for you.

Cheering for your Team

2008-05-09T21:34:00.000-07:00

Our team had a basketball match yesterday and man! did i cheer too much! i stupidly forgot that when i shout too much my head would throb so badly. even if it was just for a couple of seconds i hate experiencing it because it would just hurt too much to the point of fainting.

so what made me cheer so vigorously? my crush. hahaha.. it was my second time to be watching him play basketball and i'm still impressed. i'm impressed with how much his height can do. ^__^;; he could block the opponent's ball even without jumping and just by raising his arms. he really has long arms. but he's kinda thin so when i look at his legs, i can think of only one thing - chicken legs. hahaha! is it ironic to make fun of my crush? ^__^;;

another thing i like about him while he's playing ball is his reacti0n when he commits a foul. he would "clap" once like he is regretting something and he would only be able to smile upon realizing that it was really his error. its really cute. but i've seen him with a bad reaction for a foul called against him too. he complained to the referee and there, a technical foul for you! i just couldn't blame him for complaining to the ref. i was afraid he might take it the wrong the way. i couldn't even cheer him on. i was too embarrassed. ^__^;;

but even if that technical foul gave five sure free throws for the opponent, our team still won and i was just so happy because my crush said they won because i was there. nyahahaha! it was a super corny flattery but i was really flattered only i wasn't able to savor it for a longer time because i was thinking about another thing then. dang. ^__^;;

If you can't stand me, then you're not in my level. i won't go down for you.

Gaaah! I worked hard the whole day!

2008-05-02T06:26:00.000-07:00

this is one of those rare days that i worked my ass off! actually, its not rare these past few days. i have been working hard these past few days! and i don't like it. its a huge responsibility! i'm in charged of sending the invitations and following them up for our activity this coming Tuesday. i have done this before a few times but everytime i do, it really stresses me. its really a huge pressure. like a big weight on my shoulders since if a guest wouldn't be able to come because he was not informed or misinformed or informed late, that would be my fault. >.<

i have finished sending the invitations last week and last Wednesday and today, i did the follow ups. it was going smoothly last Wednesday and some people had already confirmed their attendance but wtf, three in the afternoon there was a news that the date of our activity is changed and the time of the start the program! i had to call every person again that i sent an invitation to! @#$@! and then only today that i sent the notices for the change of schedule (since there was no work yesterday) and i also did the follow ups at the same time. >.< another 8 hours straight in the telephone!

it would have been okay if not for my boss who gave me additional workloads! she had me personally delivered invitations for a few important guests when she could have asked someone to do it since i was so busy! and not only that, she chose the time to dispose of her old files and lucky me it was my job to distribute all of them. >.<>.<

only three more days before our activity. i'm wishing i won't be called to work also over the weekend. that would be too much for me! i need rest to regain my strength for Monday! it would be the last day before the activity and it would be crucial! i'll be playing with the telephone again for straight 8 hours. >.<

If you can't stand me, then you're not in my level. i won't go down for you.

We lost in our first volleyball game. T.T

2008-04-29T03:44:00.000-07:00

T.T we lost in our first volleyball game! we had less players and all three of us girls we're "overly used" because there were no other girls to sub for us. the other female players weren't able to come. but i think we could have won even though there were only the three of us. a lot of our male players were good players and they were covering for us. but they also made a lot of mistakes. we won the first set. i think most of us got tensed during the second set when we started so badly. and on the third set, we gained the momentum but a lot of errors were still committed. too bad. >.<

but still, i enjoyed playing. i was nervous at the start but i gained focus in the middle of the game. i think i was still some help though even though i wasn't that good. ^__^;; i just wanted to have some fun. i hope we'll be able to win in our next game next week.

If you can't stand me, then you're not in my level. i won't go down for you.

My First Sportsfest Parade!

2008-04-28T04:20:00.000-07:00

even when i was a player back in high school and college, i never experienced going into parade with all the rest of the teams and single player individuals. this was the first time that i experienced going into a parade with the rest of the team, and all the other teams. ^__^

i entered the volleyball team of our office and for the past days, we've been practicing but i still don't feel the seriousness of the competition. ^__^;; all i'm ever thinking is to have fun and savoring the moment that i get to play a sports again. i just wanna have fun. but i know it would be more fun if we win. ^__~

even if it was only a parade outside and within the gym, i still consider it a parade since from the outside, we came into the gym and walked around until we reached our space where we lined up. i was feeling so awkward because i was too conscious that we are parading ourselves, i felt like we were modelling and walking in a catwalk because there were many people watching. ^__^;;

all in all, the experience was great, even though it was too hot inside the gym and i was sweating a lot. our team's muse won first runner up by the way. and the first game was basketball, our team against the Admin Team and we won! but i think we just had the advantage because the other team lacks players.

we will be playing volleyball tomorrow and i'm just thinking that i would do my best so i won't embarrassed myself. and then, i'm just so excited because i'll be playing with my crush! ^__^;; he's a basketball player too and i was just too impressed at his play this afternoon. he'll be playing volleyball with us tomorrow (i hope) and i just wish he'll provide enough inspiration for me. ^__^;;
If you can't stand me, then you're not in my level. i won't go down for you.

I have the same Birthday with Erap! ugh.

2008-04-21T16:12:00.000-07:00

i was trying to post what had happened during my pre-birthday celebration but i couldn't post anything last Sunday and i got so annoyed that i gave up on it. darn.

anyway, i had a pre-birthday celebration last Friday night. actually i didn't plan on celebrating and i just wanted to go home but at the same time i was kinda being lazy, didn't want to ride the bus, and i kept on stalling until i decided to just go out with my friends and have some crazy fun. ^__^

we went to Padi's Point in Timog and my, what a place! just as i have expected. its crazy there as it was in other Padi's! i love their dancefloor eventhough it was small. there was a pole in the middle which we took fancy of and took our turns dancing with it. ^__^;; there was a man-size steel bird cage on one side and bummer, we didn't get to dance inside it because some guys didn't want to leave there. >.< but we still had a lot of fun dancing! i had a great time!

it was ages ago since i last dance in a club and i just so miss it. the crazy dancing, the loud music, body bumping, and all that noise! i just missed the craziness there! and i can't help but sing 50 cent's song:

go shorty, we gotta party like it's your birthday
we gonna sip bacardi like it's your birthday
....
go party in the club, bottle full of bob,
look mommy i got the x, i'm into taking drugs,
i'm into having sex, i ain't to making love
so come give me a hug if you're into getting rub!
woooh!

hahaha! crazy fun! not to mention that we got to dance with some gorgeous Koreans who were all so nice as to give in to the whims of the birthday girl. hahaha! i'm just so disappointed that i didn't even get their names and contact details! >.< i guess i just have to go back to that club and find them. kyahahaha! ^__^;;

its a good thing that i almost forgot that i have the same birthday with Erap. i just so don't like that celebrity-turned-politician. ^__^

If you can't stand me, then you're not in my level. i won't go down for you.

Playing volleyball until it hurts ^__^;;

2008-04-17T04:04:00.000-07:00

woohoo! its been ages since i've been active like this.

i joined the volleyball team of our office which was invited to participate in the sportsfest that another agency is holding. at first i wasn't really confident that i can play the sports again because i've been a slug for a couple of years and its been ancient ago since i played volleyball. i played the sports when i was in high school and first year college and from then on, i only concentrated on softball because that's what i love most. ^__^ and after i graduated from college and that was like four years ago, i never played anything again. >.<

we've been practicing for a few days now and i'm glad i joined because i am really enjoying myself! at first, it hurts when i hit the ball but i got used to it after a while. i guess that's expected. the day after the first day of our practice, i got muscle aches all over and i wanted to practice again because they say the pain will go away if i keep on practicing. and its actually true because the pain is slowly fading away. and what remains is the fun. ^__^ and some little bruises here and there, a lot of them on both of my arms. and just this afternoon, i got bruises on my knees because of going after the ball really seriously. ^_^;;

i just felt it would be a lot more fun if i give it all i've got even though its just practice. and besides, those bruises can't compare to the fun i'm feeling when i am playing. ^__^ not to mention that i gained new friends because of it. ^__^

If you can't stand me, then you're not in my level. i won't go down for you.

Hundred Islands escapade!

2008-04-05T19:52:00.001-07:00

Hundred Islands is definitely a national treasure! i love it! ^__^

we went to Hundred Islands at Pangasinan yesterday and man! am i so burned! ^__^;; it was my first time to go there and we really made the most out of it. by seven in the morning we were already at the pier and registered our names and chose the boat service. there were two boat services, the first one would be limited, only three islands will be visited which are three major developed islands for tourists. the other one, much more expensive, is the unlimited service where we can use the boat for the whole and visit any island we like. we chose the latter one since we wanted to make the most out of our visit which was really once in a lifetime.

we passed by a lot of islands like Sulpot Island, Romulo Island, Monkey Island, Quezon Island, and a lot more islands i can't remember. by nine in the morning, we have already chosen the island which we stayed on for the most of the time and in which beach we had fun swimming. It was in the Children island where the water was super clear and awesome and the sand was white! the island was called Children Island because the water level is suitable for little kids. we chose it because we wanted the kids we brought along to have fun. and there was a part anyway that was deep enough for adults like me. so we also had fun.

it was so fun swimming there! i haven't swam in a beach for years! i think the last one when i was still in college. after that, it was always in a swimming pool where i take a dip. i missed the beach even though i'm really afraid of big seas and waves. i guess the calm water and the nearby islands calmed me and made me had fun. the beach in the Children island where surrounded by at least three islands so the beach was kinda protected from the big waves. the only bad thing about it was there were a lot of dead seagrasses that would pass by once in a while.

we rented a small cottage near the beach. it was small but it was still able to hold all of our things and food. up above the island were other cottages and rooms and toilets. now here's another bad thing. everything would have been perfect if it weren't for the toilets. the toilets aren't "operational". it was closed and it seemed not used for a long long time. we had to resort on covering each other while changing into our swim wear and we had to take a pee somewhere else (like the sea hehe..). i wonder if its the same with the three major Islands. if it were, then its bad. for a national pride and a popular tourists spot, toilets are essential. its one of the amenities that tourists look for in a tourist spot. the management of the place should take action about it.

it was a good thing neither of us felt the need to poop. hahaha! or else, we would have been doomed. one of the kids felt the need for it when we were already back at the pier. and this is where i would like to thank Kuya Larry of BFAR Region I for letting us use the shower of the facility, for letting us park our vehicle inside the facility premises, and for lending us goggles and life jackets. ^__^ we would have paid additional fee if we took a shower at the pier and parked our vehicle there. and the goggles and life vests were really helpful because it made our swim more fun. ^__^

i had really fun swimming even if it resulted to darker skin and tiredness. ^__^;; we swam until it was past lunch. and we still did some island hopping after we took off from Children Island. we also visited BFAR Region I's sea garden project. afterwhich we went back to the pier, took showers, and bought souvenirs! there were a lot of awesome souvenirs usually shell crafts and other native materials. i was able to buy keychains, cellphone pouch, and a lobster and octopus toy for my nephew. and after a few more picture taking, we went on our way to our officemate's house. ^__^

*sigh* i wish i can go swimming again there! it was really a memorable experience!

If you can't stand me, then you're not in my level. i won't go down for you.